My mother-in-law demands that we spend Mother’s Day with her every year – she thinks SHE is the only one who should be celebrated, I can’t bear to do it again
A woman has hit back at her mother-in-law for demanding that the whole family always spend Mother’s Day celebrating her.
Posting to UK parents’ forum Mumsnet, the unnamed woman explained how her husband’s mother makes them feel guilty if they decline an invitation to her parents’ house on Mother’s Sunday.
She added that her husband and children wanted to spoil her by taking her out and that her husband’s mother should accept that Mother’s Day “is no longer about her”.
Online users flocked to the comments section saying her mother-in-law is ‘always a mother’ and should be part of the celebrations while others pointed out that it is her husband’s responsibility to keep himself safe. caring for his own mother on Mother’s Day.
Explaining the situation, the mother wrote: ‘My mother-in-law just emailed me asking for our family to come to her house for Mother’s Day.
An anonymous woman took to Mumsnet to explain that she is invited to visit her mother-in-law on Mother’s Day every year and feels guilty when she refuses. Image bank
“Honestly, I can’t think of a worse way to spend Mother’s Day.
“She extends this ‘invitation’ every year and every year we feel guilty when we decline.
“I have a husband and two daughters who try to spoil my day by taking me to brunch or the like. I think it’s really nice that they’re trying to give me a day off.
“However, my mother-in-law seems to think we should celebrate her motherhood and can’t understand why we wouldn’t want to go to their house and spoil her that day.
‘[My husband] is on my side and doesn’t want to spend the day with his parents either.
“He’ll send her flowers, call and send a card, but am I unreasonable to think the torch has passed and Mother’s Day isn’t about her anymore?”
People rushed to the comments to say her stepmother is still a mother and it’s only right for the family to recognize her on Mother’s Day.
One user wrote: “She didn’t stop being a mother when you became one. Why wouldn’t she want to see her son on Mother’s Day?
The woman explained that her husband and children wanted to spoil her and that her husband’s mother should accept that Mother’s Day “is no longer about her”
Some users posted in the comments that the woman’s mother-in-law “didn’t stop being a mother” and should be recognized on Mother’s Day
Another said: ‘How would you feel if your daughters became mothers themselves and decided you weren’t important on Mother’s Day.
“She’s still your husband’s mother, maybe try to see him from his potential.”
A third user argued that Mother’s Day is “actually more about visiting the mother you no longer live with”.
They added: “It’s fine if you want to go see your mother, as long as you don’t prevent your husband from seeing his.”
Other users said that it is her husband’s responsibility to take care of his own mother on Mother’s Day and that the wife should not be forced to spend the day with her
Other posters recommended the family celebrate with each mother separately, with one writing: “I would just do things on different days and go out for brunch with her husband and daughters on a different day – added bonus, restaurant less busy”.
“Or just invite her with you. Or offer to see her the day before.
Meanwhile, other users have defended the woman, saying she shouldn’t have to spend the day with her husband’s mother.
One user wrote: “As long as your husband sends her something, I don’t see why you have to spend the day with her. She’s not your mother.
Another said treating his mother-in-law on Mother’s Day is “the administrator of life who [her husband] should settle” and that the woman should not be “forced to do what [her mother-in-law] wants for Mother’s Day.’
One mum said she is going through the same thing with her own stepmother, writing: ‘She forgets I have a mum I might want to do something with. We do every two years with her but it’s never enough.